Out of Afric…. Um I mean Iraq

And here I thought getting into Iraq was difficult. We left Sykes at 2230 on Friday the 23rd and arrived at Detroit metro at 1230 Monday the 26th.We left Sykes in a C-130 much to the chagrin of all involved. Our problems began with a lightning storm above Balad which grounded our plane. Then due to Air Force rules we were not allowed to leave the plane and were stuck on the plane for over an hour waiting for the storm to abate. Once we got into the terminal we were told that we would be leaving in a couple of hours but that turned out not to be the case, go figure. Every 3 hours we would line up for roll call only to be told that they did not have another flight out for us. What happened to the original plane we flew in on I never found out. We ended up stuck in Balad for 11 hours; in case you were wondering the concrete floor there is not very comfortable for sleeping. Finally the next day they got a flight for us, a C-17 thank all the gods in the universe, and off we went to our next destination, Baghdad (oh Joy). We land in Baghdad and have to deplane again and spend 5 hours at that terminal. After spending 5 hours of trying to discern what the disembodied voice on the large speaker system is saying we hear that our plane is once again ready to take to the skies. So once again we grab all our gear and trudge out to the flight line and out to our plane for hopefully the last leg of our journey to wonderful Kuwait which as you all know is my most favorite place in the whole world (heavy sarcasm). In the end it took over 20 hours to travel what should have taken 3 hours, ah the joys of military travel. By the time we got to Kuwait all the scheduled flights out were gone so we had to stay the night there which worked out great for me as I had no sleeping gear with me.

The next day consisted of briefings, briefings and more briefings. My travel companions and I did discover a bit of valuable information, volunteer for the baggage detail. When flying in country all the flights are military cargo planes but once you leave Kuwait it is a chartered civilian aircraft. The deal is they need people at the Kuwait airport to load all the baggage into the belly of the plane. This occurs while all the rest of the people going on leave board the plane and get situated. The end result is you load the plane last and get to sit in first class all the way back to the States. I can not put into words how awesome that was. The people in the back of the plane were absolutely packed in like sardines and looked extremely uncomfortable. I on the other hand had plenty of leg room and the seat next to me remained empty for the whole trip to Germany and then to Atlanta, there was much rejoicing. After all the briefings we were taken to a very large warehouse where we had to deposit all our body armor and Kevlar helmets. For some reason the Army insists that you fly with body armor and helmets, like that would save you in a crash, NOT. Once we dumped the gear we then headed off to Navy customs, apparently they frown on bringing explosives and that sort of stuff back to the states, I can’t imagine why. After shuffling through all the various customs stations and getting cleared we were unceremoniously dumped into the lockdown area. This is a fenced in area that you cannot leave and are basically trapped inside until your flight leaves. We were only in there for about an hour before the call came down that the buses were there to take us to the Kuwait National airport. An hour and a half later we were at the airport and my buddies and I were loading baggage while the rest of the folks crammed into their seats.

Even in first class the flight home was absolutely grueling, I cannot imagine how lame it must have been riding in the back of the plane. The first leg of the flight took us somewhere in Germany. I say somewhere because by the time we got there I was so tired that I had no idea what was going on or where I really was. We were there for about 3 hours, none of which I can really remember. The only thing that I remember about Germany was that they had some really cool Jaegermeister shirts that I wanted to buy for my friends at home but I had absolutely no room to put them, bummer. The flight from Kuwait to Germany was only about 5 hours, the flight from Germany to Atlanta was 11 hours of pure and wondrous joy, I am lying. For some reason our flight took us way north, all the way to the tip of Greenland then across the ocean some more then through the top of Canada then south to Atlanta. I know this because they had one of those annoying graphic displays that show you on a map where your plane is going. I say annoying because I had to sit there and watch as the graphic of my plane flew directly over Detroit then continued on its merry way to Atlanta (Head spins around on neck, pea soup ejects from mouth). As our plane flew over Detroit I told the stewardess that I would gladly pull a DB Cooper and parachute into Detroit. Apparently she did not understand the reference and just looked at me strangely while she gave me my coke; they must not know who DB Cooper is in Germany.

We finally arrive in Atlanta around 0700 on Monday morning which I am going to say in the mildest terms was a complete shock to the system. Basically in a three day period we went from a totally barren world only to arrive into a bustling American airport full of business commuters and random travelers. It was a great feeling to be back on American soil but I felt a little bit like a stranger in a strange land. As soon as we got off the plane we were ushered into an open area where they had several temporary airline service counters. Basically you would go to which ever airline you were scheduled to fly on next and they would do what they could to get you the first available flight to your home of record (where you live). I was originally scheduled to leave Atlanta at 1400 and arrive in Detroit about 1530 but they were able to get me a seat on the 1230 flight for sure. They also put me as a standby for the 0800 and 1000 flight. Turns out the 0800 flight was absolutely booked but one of my fellow travelers and I were able to get onto the 1000 flight which we were both very grateful for. We almost missed out on the whole deal as we had waited to get onto the 0800 flight with no luck so we assumed the same would be true for the 1000 flight. We just happened to be walking past that particular gate on our way to the coffee shop when they called out our names as having seats on the 1000 flight. My buddy waited in the stand by line as I ran the OJ Simpson mile through the airport to grab our carry on baggage from the other gate. Usually when I travel in uniform I feel like a fish in a fish bowl, you tend to stand out. But when you are wearing a uniform and sprinting through the airport you garner much more attention, I did not really care because by this stage I was absolutely ready to be done traveling and just get home. Just as I get back to the gate they announce that they have seats open so my buddy and I do a quick victory dance and proceed to board the aircraft. Shortly thereafter we touch down safely at Detroit metro to begin our 15 days of leave. More on that in another post.


The military is not much of a timely organization but they are good at getting large groups of people to different areas, eventually.